Those lines_For Christina

Those lines are just a small part
Of what I feel for you.
What I could list about our friendship
Your beautiful soul.
And about how much I'm afraid of losing you.
I feel like I can never get rid of it.

Those lines are just a small part...
of what I want to give to you.
Now and in future times.
I know it doesn't take money
Or just a few rhymes.
Material goods can fall apart
But these lines come from the bottom of my heart.

Those lines are just a small part
Of what I owe you.
And I can't express
How greatful I am to know you.
I haven't always been fair
But believe me- I tried to be there.

It's so hard to be selfless
When you've lost the things
That you needed the most.
It's so hard to share
When you feel like you're thirsty
And all you have left is a tear drop.

I feel like the meanest person in the world
And I cry right now, writing this
Because I realize what you had to endure
All these years.
I feel guilty for all the pain I've put you through
For all the tears you had to shed.

When I'm with you
I could embrace every moment
We giggle about nonsense
We laugh until my cheeks hurt.
I thought you weren't a good friend
Because I never felt your holding hand.

But it took me a while to figure out
That our friendship was different.
And that daily phone calls aren't what a friendship is about.
That you don't need to be around me everyday
To be with me- because you always are.
And I feel like an idiot
Because I didn't see it.

Those lines are just a small part
Of what's still inside my heart
But- to make up for all the pain-
I felt like I needed to explain
At least some parts.
And I hope it's not too late.

I hope that it was fate
That I walked over to your table
When I met you for the first time.
And if you believe in me
I promise I will change.

But if you don't give me this second chance
I'd understand.
I wouldn't give it to me.
And all I want is you to be happy.
But I want you to know
That you make me a better person.

Maybe I understood that
There's a possibilty... so that love stays
And you can have both- me and free space.

I never intended to hurt you- ever
If so, I would have intented to hurt myself.
I miss you so much right now
I wish I could find a way to get to you somehow.

Every obstacle that we have overcome
all the ups and downs ... like a giant curve
It made me realize that
We may be the best friends on earth.

I'm ready to pay every price
To get this second chance from you
Please forget the lies.
Because I love you. And that is true.